Courage
It takes courage to be the first. It takes courage when there are no guarantees.
It takes courage to look at your trauma. It takes courage when you know you need to feel to heal.
It takes courage to follow your intuition. It takes courage when it takes you on a different path.
It takes courage to stand in your truth. It takes courage when your truth affects those around you.
It takes courage to say no. It takes courage when your yes takes you out of your comfort.
It takes courage to take the time you need. It takes courage when you are being rushed.
It takes courage to see our collective shadows. It takes courage when you decide your life will always involve unlearning.
It takes courage to expose yourself to differing perspectives. It takes courage to experience cognitive dissonance.
It takes courage to divest from convenience. It takes courage when you remember your nature is nature.
It takes courage to surrender amidst a global awakening. It takes courage when there are no clear paths and you have to create your own.
It takes courage to live in uncertainty. It takes courage when you are certain the road less traveled is calling you.
It takes courage to not give into divisiveness. It takes courage when you recognize the truth lies in the middle.
Courage comes from the heart. We are all being asked to be courageous - to live from the heart.
Today marks 6 years since launching my blog (on my mama’s birthday). I remember being nervous to vulnerably share my art and spirituality but the desire to express myself was much stronger than my fear. And here we are again, the day Anaïs Nin predicted would come “when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
Last month’s #33daysofpractice began around the time I joined a sacred container led by medicine woman, Marilu Shinn. My soul knew what was coming and had gifted me the intuition of surrounding myself with sisters on a similar path. I am beyond grateful for this container because it has been helping me embody my truths and unearth that which keeps me from fully expressing my medicine. In August I experienced the highest highs and lowest lows. I confronted ancestral trauma and felt like I was feeling all the grief my ancestors couldn’t heal. Their release came through my tender heart and tears. I was held and reminded that avoiding the pain was no longer necessary and no longer sustainable.
I more deeply understood that our wounds and our traumas are not meant to be held onto, they are meant for giving back to the earth to be transmuted and alchemized into visions of healing - FORGIVING.
I more clearly see how my brain craves the simplicity of black and white thinking while my heart has an expansive capacity for nuance. This has been made clear to me most especially around the V. My heart aches for those that have been injured or have passed away from the virus and those that have been injured or have passed away from the vaccine, for the families that have been separated to remain safe and the families that have been separated due to differing beliefs, for those that are being forced to do something that goes against their body’s wisdom and those losing their jobs for resisting. Mostly especially, my heart aches for the world our children are inheriting.
These last 18 months I have felt scared to share my views because I have sensed a pressure to pick a side. It did not feel safe to stand in the middle. On one level we are being forced into sides, but it’s a false dichotomy. I know I’m not the only one that has felt homeless in a world of red vs blue. These limited categories no longer serve us or the times we’re in. I know there is much more healing ahead, but this container has helped me see that part of my medicine is visionary. I am being called to release my imagination from the capture of fear. Instead of recycling my imagination to create what has already been, I release it to paint another way.
I’ll admit that these days I find myself getting overwhelmed by the worst case scenario (feeling the fear) but then I use my imagination to transform it (feeling love), turning life’s contrast into a vision for the New Earth. It can start off with some gentle “what if…?” statements or a full on download of what is waiting for us on the other side of this chaos.
My ancestors have been showing me how contrast and extremes help us find balance. Where I am settling today is that we need these energies to get to where we’re going, but we also get to decide how much contrast we need to meet back in the middle. Wherever you find yourself today, accept that your unique past is part of your journey. See where the dichotomies live in you, where they limit you, and where they can be dissolved. I am doing this while simultaneously honoring the unique path my intuition is clearing for me.